When Death Takes Your Spouse
“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”
Her last few weeks were painful as she struggled to breathe. Trips to the doctor - using the CPAP machine and oxygen – helping her around the house – then a dramatic turn for the worse.
The doctor said to take her to the ER right away. Despite endless tests and examinations by several doctors, there were no helpful answers. I stayed with her for four days and four nights. We thought she was getting better that fateful morning and even talked about going home. Two hours later, the Lord took her to His home.
My daughter that lived in town, came immediately, and my other two children came ASAP. There were many details: writing the obituary, planning the burial, and the Memorial Service. Family and friends came. My gracious children – all three – stayed with me for a week.
Then I was alone. Alone! Even though I returned to work, there was an empty house when I came home. I left the lights on at night. Everything in my home reminded me of her. We had been married for 53 years. Over 39 years were in this same house. We had served the Lord in ministries together all through that time.
But now, more than ever, I had to learn to trust the Lord. I had heard sermons on Ps. 116:15, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” I felt like heaven had gained, but I had lost. I memorized that whole chapter. Verses 3 and 4 expressed the feeling in my life: “The sorrows of death compassed me, - - - I found trouble and sorrow. Then called I upon the name of the Lord.”
I had to accept and live the truth of v. 8-9. “For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”
I realized that God still had a purpose for my life. I had to move on. So, “I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”
I am writing this three years after this heart-rending experience. The Lord is sufficient to meet my need even when waves of loneliness would attempt to overwhelm me. He has, and is, opening new avenues of ministry for me to help others.
And – the Lord is sufficient for your need, whatever that may be.